Third Coming


After much deliberation, Christine decided she’d ride out the apocalypse in Prince George, British Columbia. She’d never been there, never even heard of it, until she realized time was running out: Armageddon would happen within her lifetime. She had to prepare, inshallah.


First, she arranged to ship her vehicle, a sturdy, off-road-capable Jeep with four-wheel drive, by train to Prince George. She felt the finger of the Savior graze her cheek as she handed the keys and a check worth two months’ salary to Enzo, a friend of her second cousin’s ex-husband. Then she stopped at a mailbox to mail checks and signed contracts to landlords in Prince George. “Feathering the nest,” she thought to herself. As if on cue, a wisp of wind tousled her hair almost the way her father used to. She smiled and said a grateful prayer.


Next: guns. She prayed the Savior’s forgiveness for wanting them, but she knew Satan’s forces would be as formidable as they were foul. She was proud of the research she’d done, and grateful to the Savior for his approbation, which came in the form of a new friend, De’angelo. De’angelo was a godsend. He helped her make sure that when she arrived in Prince George, all of the guns she needed would be in place and waiting for her.


Finally, she approved the installation of a giant Christ’s Crescent on her hilltop church in Prince George. She sent fliers to everyone in town. She couldn’t wait to start recruiting.